You

To the guy who came over for a “im such in a badmood”,

Who brought me his jacket for a “i forget to bring mine”,

And always prioritize my needs over his, 

Thank you.

 

You came right when I almost gave up on love. On being in love.  

Right after I decided I don’t need any love, because I don’t have capacity to love.

I’m too drown in my self-hate, same shitty insecurities since years ago. My cup is half-empty, and I can’t give anything to anyone. Because giving enough love to myself to live everyday, is so damn hard already. 

 

But there you are. Coming to my chaotic life, like a serendipity. You’re not taking anything from my half-empty cup. And you’re not filling my cup so I depend on you. In fact, you taught me how to fill my cup, so I can love myself more, by myself. 

You make me feel a different kind of love, the one I'd never have before. The love that calms me but in the same time excites me. Butterfly in stomaches but in the same times a stability. Whatever will be, will be. But one thing I know for sure, I'm grateful to know you.

 

Easy

 A forehead kiss, quick kisses on my lips

Our hearts are racing, knowing my dad’s watching over the window

 

We’re at part we hate the most for the day: a goodbye

Hours feel like seconds, and I wish we don’t call it a day

Comes for you to go, only to meet again another day,

But oh how we wish we’d stay together day by day

 

Young blood, they said, unluckily, I agree

But love comes when you least expect it, what more could I say?

 

I’m not one who gets comfort easily, nor fall in love easily

I’m one who comes to therapist, cried while telling her my fear: my disability to love

I’m one who’s concerning my psychiatrist, due to my cold heart and numbness towards everyone

 

But with you, everything’s so easy.

Mystifying. Confusing. Bewildering. But easy.

I feel comfort around you easily. Tell you stories easily.

Being clingy to you easily.

And suddenly, my world, revolves around you.

 

I know forever doesn’t exist, while drama, tragedies, and heartbreaks do exist

But I’d take the risk. Because it’s you, I’d take the risk.